As long as there's open communication there's nothing wrong with being poly. I have seen several yanderes who are poly, so it is a thing.
It's not for me though. I think if I was interested in someone and it turned out they were poly it'd be a deal breaker.
agree with wowitstea, i think polyamory is a major sin to yandere ideology. i think those people should stop stealing our labels and maybe not exist at all..
You don't agree with me. There is nothing wrong with polyamory. What I said is that it isn't for me. It isn't for everyone.
in this case, i agree with both wowitstea and sslainsaturn;
i too have seen people in the yandere community being polyamorous, but none of the poly relationships lasted long. members of the yandere community don’t equal being yanderes though, at least from my POV they weren’t.
i can’t grasp how yandere poly relationships work - i’m sure they do in some cases but.. with how possessive yanderes are, do they just split attention equally? it’s not always just about one side either, communication would be hard. for example: said poly yandere person’s partners are darlings - are they really 100% fine with others around their yandere too? it already sounds hard to me, i can’t imagine it working in practice.
i'm not absolutely against poly relationships in general - if it works for you, great. i think even if i were polyamorous, the jealousy would eat me up first. in my understanding, a true yandere cannot have a poly relationship.
Ah, yes, poly.
I foolishly thought that poly is fine or that I would be able to handle it. But nope. It drove me right into horrible breakdowns because I simply CAN'T share my beloved or have them do things with somebody else that's not me. So yeah, no poly for me and honestly probably most yanderes too. There might be some very few poly configurations that *might* work, but good luck finding them.
Love for another is not a threat to one's being. This would be zero-sum. Love is an expression of your values to another person, and the more you value, the more you are capable of loving. You can love your partner and your child intensely, yes. And the love for a child doesn't threaten your partner's value to you. However, it is more complicated with polysexuality. I've personally been conflicted with finding a proper answer to it, and this is because I believe in mind-body integration as well as the principle of "if it is moral, then it is practical."
If it is hypothetically true that romantic love can be unlimited, and you are metaphysically capable of romantically and sexually loving two or more people, then there is no mind-body dichotomy, even if you're sexually engaged with one person while the other person is not present. I previously believed it was a dichotomy because you're partaking in a physical action that is involving the highest expression of love (sex) with another person other than your partner, even if you sincerely love them both. And this was a zero-sum fallacy, because you can reasonably spend quality time with a friend over another friend due to external circumstances, but it does not decrease the value of their friendship.
I still find it too repulsive, but it can be objectively defended to this extent.
The real issue is the principle of what is moral is also practical. I discussed the ethics of monoamorous polysexuality with my partner and we both concluded that while this is more practical, it is also more immoral than polyamorous polysexuality because you are disintegrating your mind and body---both belong to your primary partner but only the latter can be expressed to others.
Personally I don't get the harted towards poly people. I get that most yanderes couldn't be in one cause jealousy is a big issue (even in non yandere poly relationships) but in the end it's more a question of being able to communicate. If you're able to love multiple people at the same time, treat them good and everyone agrees to it I really don't see the issue.
Xerxer explains it quite well.
To answer Simp's question: Poly and Yandere are not compatible. It's quite obvious why anyone would dislike poly as for a lot of monogamous people (Yan or non-yan), what they do definitely equals to a blatant infidelity. As you may seem from Saturn's reply, trying to affirm both things can be seen as trying to "steal the yandere label", and, come on... We're yanderes because we're mentally ill... Do you think it's funny for people to fake mental illnesses? Now, I don't think they're necessarily faking it, I believe in good intentions... I think they're just wrong, stupid and confused. Every yan is a mentally ill person, but not every mentally ill person is a yan. As yanderes we can certainly love family or friends, sure... But that's only because of the nature of love, different types of love have different conditions.
As for my personal opinion... I'm yet to see a true Poly relationship, I've only ever seen miserable people that take advantage of a weak-willed and/or love-starved partner. Until I see real proof, not internet, no strangers, but a real life relationship I can trust and talk to, I can't help, but understand it as a lie... A disgusting one at that.
I have two "fill-in" darlings at the moment. Both of them are fictional. I do believe that it is indeed my heart trying to fill in the gap that it's been longing to fill. It's something of desperation.
But there is a huge difference between fictional people and real ones. It's one thing to latch onto fictional darlings to dote on in the mean time to cope, and another to be poly IRL. Fictional characters dont exist, don't have feelings, arent physical, aren't flesh and life. They're fascinating and able to be infatuated with, but It's shallow and coping.
I do not support poly/harem. My goal is to be in a monogamous relationship hopefully for life. Poly is unethical and selfish. It's cruel and envious. I want to find a darling one day to settle down with. Just him and I.
