Yandere Community

Good question.

I want to be obsessed over and chased. It’s endearing and can ignite love. Then I feel as if they’re love is more true and deep. I feel more secure in the relationship (less anxious). It confirms I found my soulmate who can understand me.

I’m a sub so maybe I don’t mind being prey too… I want them unhinged by society. So that they’re willing to kidnap me :)

I say Mutual Love because of my own anxious attachment and fear of abandonment from past trauma. My own love feels validated when reciprocated.

Even my own platonic relationships are scary if I don't feel like my comradarie or relationship accepted if I don't have that confirmation or reciprocation. 

Iv heard that everyone wants to be accepted or liked. Supposedly its a part of the whole being human thing so I assume a relationship works best when both parties agree to it. That's not to say you cant have the whole thrill of the chase from a one-sided relationship but I have a feeling that you wont truly experience "proper love" if that is the only dynamic the relationship has going for it. That and unwinnable games are not that fun in the longrun unless they keep escalating, which is not something I advise doing in a relationship. But than again that is just an opinion of mine and I know way to well that love is one of the subjects I should probably avoid talking about.  

It takes persistence for me to notice.  If you get me to care, it will only persist if mutual.  (Although, given time, I think anyone can be …convinced.)

I dated someone for nine months and they eventually started showing signs of codependency but they never reached my levels of intensity. The relationship sadly ended because the love I'd given them wasn't being reciprocated in equal amounts and I felt burned out from it.

Nowadays my love is reserved for someone as intense as me. Nothing more nothing less.

YanYan said: 

I dated someone for nine months and they eventually started showing signs of codependency but they never reached my levels of intensity. The relationship sadly ended because the love I'd given them wasn't being reciprocated in equal amounts and I felt burned out from it.

Nowadays my love is reserved for someone as intense as me. Nothing more nothing less.

Define "intense" ... everyone seems to have their own way of showing others "love" ... whatever that entails. At this point im questioning the whole status quo of love as it seems to be more of a term thrown around for something like simple companionship rather than an extremely deep bond like something you'd find in a fairytale ... so i cant help but get curious when people start talking with big words like "intensity" or "codependency".   

Kei said: 

YanYan said: 

I dated someone for nine months and they eventually started showing signs of codependency but they never reached my levels of intensity. The relationship sadly ended because the love I'd given them wasn't being reciprocated in equal amounts and I felt burned out from it.

Nowadays my love is reserved for someone as intense as me. Nothing more nothing less.

Define "intense" ... everyone seems to have their own way of showing others "love" ... whatever that entails. At this point im questioning the whole status quo of love as it seems to be more of a term thrown around for something like simple companionship rather than an extremely deep bond like something you'd find in a fairytale ... so i cant help but get curious when people start talking with big words like "intensity" or "codependency".   

For me intense entails something serious that'll impact my everyday life. In my eyes an intense relationship is one where your life gets tangled with your partner's in irreversible ways and if you break up you'll never be the same- you want their opinion on everything, you trust them with your life, you solely seek them out for support, if you've got free time it's automatic that you spend it with them, you actively shower them in love and obsess over them. (Using they/them as a gender neutral for a partner here.)

Being a more controlling person I'd also need them to mimic some of these actions- I'd need them to solely depend on me for emotional support, use most (if not all) free time with me, give me constant shows of affection (don't mind if they're mostly small, just need this).

Everybody has a different understanding of love, some people split their love up between a partner, friends and family. Others want to give it to only one person.

I'd say I'm extremely picky of who I want to be with. I can only love one person at a time so I choose my darling very carefully. On another note I'm fine being alone, I'd just prefer a partner. (Just mentioning so people don't think I'm desperate for a darling.)

That makes sense. Thx for sharing. I mean I think the whole depending on each other for emotional support (and other support) is kind of a given, but I can see how some people might have a hard time spending all their free time on someone. That being said its probably doable as long as they/them (whoever your future spouse is) puts in some effort soo at least you aren't completely of luck. Guess i'm rooting for ya soo gl 

It's more a question of what's realistic vs the ideal, ideally reciprocated more likely it be one sided as one would either die, fall out of love or change leaving the pain bigger.