Honouring My Sweetheart

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My problem…


Posts: 3

Hi, I'm Vik. I have a problem with myself — I'm incredibly awkward online and sometimes feel like a grandma because I don't know how to talk to people. But in real life, I have lots of friends and so on, yet I feel that same loneliness in a crowd…

I'm into self-development, I'm building my own woodworking workshop, restoring furniture, and so on, which gives me a lot of work and stress… Because even though I enjoy talking to people, I feel like it wears me out…

And because of this, I have a big problem. No matter how many dates I went on, no matter how many times I tried to build relationships with guys, it was like Groundhog Day. Every beginning was almost identical — the stages of getting to know each other were all similar, and so on. Even though all the types of guys were different… I started to think at first that maybe the problem was me, because relatives, people at work, and friends keep asking why I don't have a boyfriend. And every time I thought through what I wanted to tell them — all of what I wrote above — I realized it sounded like I was just being difficult, so I would just say that I was tired… Even though I will always have time for evening walks and for a loved one.

And then I got interested in the topic of yandere. I studied the material and realized that maybe this was the very escape from routine that I was looking for. But still, something in my subconscious pushes me away from it — what if it's not that? What if I don't fit? And why do I even think that anyone would be interested in me? Or maybe I really should just force myself to try with regular guys after all?
Or maybe I'm completely mistaken and I need something else entirely?

Have you ever experienced something like this or anything similar? And if so, please tell me how you got through it — I'd be happy to hear every response.

Is there something wrong with me?
Posts: 13
0 votes RE: My problem…

You should ask yourself why you want a relationship in the first place. Is it because you want someone you can give your love to and spend your life with or because you feel pressured to by the people around you? Or maybe are you just looking for a way to escape?

 

The next question is do you feel romantic attraction at all? And why hasn't it worked with those other guys? 

 

Chasing a relationship for the sake of not being single is never a good idea, there are other ways to find excitment in life and when it comes to yanderes.. if you already feel drained by "normal" relationships and friendships this is gonna give you the rest. Ofc it depends on the person but yanderes aren't "easy love", yes they'll be fully devoted to you but that doesn't mean they don't have needs and wants too and there's a good chance they'll expect you to fullfil most of them. Not to say you should strictly stay away from any yandere but seeking one out just as a way to escape will do more harm than good.

Posts: 3
0 votes RE: My problem…

Прежде всего, вам стоит спросить себя, зачем вам вообще нужны отношения. Хотите ли вы найти человека, которому сможете подарить свою любовь и с которым проведете всю жизнь, или вас к этому подталкивают окружающие? А может, вы просто ищете способ сбежать от реальности?

 

Следующий вопрос: испытываете ли вы вообще романтическое влечение? И почему с другими парнями ничего не вышло?

 

Гоняться за отношениями только ради того, чтобы не быть одинокой, — плохая идея. Есть и другие способы получать удовольствие от жизни, а когда дело касается яндере... если вы уже чувствуете себя опустошенной из-за «обычных» отношений и дружбы, то это то, что вам нужно. Конечно, все зависит от человека, но яндере — это не «легкая любовь». Да, они будут полностью преданы вам, но это не значит, что у них нет собственных потребностей и желаний, и велика вероятность, что они будут ожидать, что вы удовлетворите большинство из них. Это не значит, что вам стоит держаться подальше от яндере, но если вы ищете их только для того, чтобы сбежать от реальности, то навредите себе больше, чем поможете.

 

I caught myself thinking that I want to be with someone. Like, to share a moment and a feeling. I have a lot of friends, so I can share those moments, but I'd really like to have a person who's seen me in every state. And yes, I want to love someone...

I feel attachment. I want to be close, to do things together because it's more interesting and more fun that way, even if it's not perfect, even if there are mistakes. And with other guys it just doesn't work because... it's like I already know what's going to happen next. I mean, I know how the conversation will go, what the date will be like, and so on. There's nothing interesting in it, it feels like. Just normal interaction, which feels more friendly to me than romantic, I don't know...

I've just always thought about the yandere type, but I felt like I wasn't all that interesting, I guess... So I kept pushing away the thought that I need exactly that kind of person. But when I went on first dates with guys, yeah, it was interesting and fun at first, but then... each time it all became mundane, like a routine... Nothing interesting, nothing extravagant... I was even cheated on... Once...

I just, yes, I want to break the routine because it's suffocating... And it seems to me that yandere-type people might actually be right for me.

Is there something wrong with me?
Posts: 13
0 votes RE: My problem…
Kino_vari said:
And it seems to me that yandere-type people might actually be right for me.

 And are you right for them? Can you handle all the dark shit, obsession and etc etc? ^^

Мне кажется, обычные отношения не работают из-за культуры быстрых отношений через свидания. Сама идея свиданий хуйня. Отношения, в которых тебя человек видел в любом виде, строются на долгом общение, через дружбу. Интернет отношения тоже хуйня.

Если ты ищешь отношения именно с яндере, то ты не найдешь, потому что тебе будут попадаться люди, которые будут за тебя цепляться и claim that label, хотя по факту они совсем не yandere. Оправдывать свои действия этим, хотя их действия даже не построенны на любви.

You brought me here to cook crack?🤯 Yeah what else is baking soda for?🙄 IDK? BAKING ???? 🤯🤯🤯
last edit on 5/21/2026 2:14:50 PM
Posts: 3
0 votes RE: My problem…
kokoa said: 
Kino_vari сказал:
И мне кажется, что люди типа яндере на самом деле могут мне подойти.

 

Если ты ищешь отношений именно с яндере, то ничего не найдешь, потому что тебе будут попадаться люди, которые будут цепляться за тебя и навешивать на себя этот ярлык, хотя на самом деле они совсем не яндере. Они будут оправдывать свои действия этим, хотя в их поступках нет и намека на любовь.

I think you're right in some ways.But I want to try.It's better to love someone than no one...It's going to be weird and painful and unusual...I'd better try it and then make a decision.But I hope it works out!

And the culture of quick relationships is really disgusting. I think we'll die out faster than we'll understand what love is...

Is there something wrong with me?
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