I have two "fill-in" darlings at the moment. Both of them are fictional. I do believe that it is indeed my heart trying to fill in the gap that it's been longing to fill. It's something of desperation.
But there is a huge difference between fictional people and real ones. It's one thing to latch onto fictional darlings to dote on in the mean time to cope, and another to be poly IRL. Fictional characters dont exist, don't have feelings, arent physical, aren't flesh and life. They're fascinating and able to be infatuated with, but It's shallow and coping.
I do not support poly/harem. My goal is to be in a monogamous relationship hopefully for life. Poly is unethical and selfish. It's cruel and envious. I want to find a darling one day to settle down with. Just him and I.
Regardless if anyone reads the rest or not, have a great day and I hope you win your darlings!
My stance as of now is mostly similar to how it was before, including the rational ethics of irl vs fictional poly. However I've worked on myself and I think I've become less bitter about those who are Poly. I've learned I'm semi-Ficto and the rules can be a little bit...different. I have 2 F/O darlings whom I'm greatly devoted to and utterly in love with.
I view my love for them not necessarily as poly, but as the exception to my rule of monogamy. I also realized that I shouldn't downplay my love for my darlings fictional or not due to self shame of not being devoted enough when I'm clearly devoted to them very very very much.
I still wish for only one person IRL when the time is right, and maybe I might never find him, but I felt that it was important for me to really take a look at how I posted this as it really bothered me that t would be denying who I've grown into and I didn't want to leave that stance as it was when I've grown and changed, at least for my own integrity's sake.
TLDR: I've self reflected and became more compassionate to yandere's who are poly as long as they are the sort to actually be devoted and exclusive/take their darlings very seriously.
