I am hoestly feeling like shiiit. I have someone I am really interested and smitten with and we have not talked for like, a day or so, which I know isn't muc and he doesn't owe me anything but I miss himmm. And other people are interested in him and it has me so worried befcause really what can I offer, I don't think I am interesting enough or hell, just anywhere near getting close to him. I am lucky enough to be able to see things of his I shouldn't wish for more I shouldn't I shouldn't. I keep goinhg between wanting to strangle him and and whine for him and I wish everyione that messaged him would crawl in a ditch and die but I don't have the right to feel that way, I cannot interfere and it is frustratinhg so frustrating. And I don't think he will message me today either and I don't think it makes sense for me to message him tonight and its unfair and I wish I could hear his voice, he could say literally anything, I am unfortunatley pathetic in this case.
Hoping writing this out helps let off some steam. Now to drink more to celebrate coming out of the womb day. I'm having cinnamon fireball whiskey and dr pepper mix, and maybe some sweet wine. Many spelling mistakes, but suits the mood honestly. Please ignore my ramblings, I am just feeling sucky right now. Shall feel more sensible later.
