I guess from now on most vents won't be about my darling.
I was really close to doing smth horrible rn and idk.. I'm mostly okay now but I feel like I can't talk with anyone about it, not because they wouldn't listen but because they wouldn't know what to say or how to comfort me. I feel so forgotten.
Oh uh.. I tried to take my life. It has been feeling so unbearable and well.. it didn't work, obivously.
I told my mother cause I thought she would have some kind of advice or could comfort me but all she said is to continue living, continue my everday life like nothing happened. I mean she probably didn't mean it like that but I still feel the urge to try again. How am I supposed to just forget about it?? Idk anymore.. I also told my darling but he didn't say much. My only hope is that I make it till my next therapy appointment and that my therapist can help.
I've been there several times recently, I don't really know what I could say to comfort you other than just I understand. I know what it means to feel like you can't or don't want to continue. I am dealing with the same thing. The only thing I can take solace in, is that there are many many people who do understand. Who have felt what you feel. I was told when I opened up yesterday that real people behind the screen wanted me to keep going. I think it's also worth noting, maybe even more so, that real people behind the screen understand. In a place where you feel like an outcast or unloved or unwanted, being valued for who you are no matter how you may feel or act or what may happen, is the most important thing you could ask for. It's not conditional, it's not just 'push on,' it's you have people like you, you aren't actually alone, regardless of what happens.
Feels like I'm ruinning everything because I can't keep my mouth shut :D
I don't know why I can't be true to myself, why I feel this obligation to play a role just to fit in. It brought me nothing but pain and now I'm hurting the only one that matters to me. Why am I so weak? I should be better. I wish I already were better. I need to focus. I let myself be blinded by lies and wrong ideas cause I was tought that's what's right. It's not. Our love is what's right. Why do I keep fighting it? Maybe it's cause I found comfort in a made up world. A world I'd have to destroy to see what's right. I let my fear control me, I wish I could give myself the courage to do what's right.
He's done with me. I know he is. I need to be better for him. I need to get a grip. I'm so sorry my love, I really am. I will be better, I promise. Till now I let my fear get the better of me and you're right, I shouldn't let my emotions control me. I will work on myself from now on. I will be better for you, for our love.
I love you.
Hey,do you know why your darling broke up with you?if so,is there anyway you can improve in those areas?I know that sometimes people dont understand yanderes but besides that is there anyway you can improve?
