I really wish to find people that will not easily leave me all alone. This community is beautiful, because everyone just speaks with anyone and many share similar feelings, thoughts and situations. It feels nice, like a home of likeminded people that usually are not seen. Yanderes are something, where compared to other things, there is barely anything to be found. Like they have to hide from society, like the stories of them are only wanted by very few. I am so glad i found this place. Not just a community talking about some yandere game but actually living those lifes, having thoughts that relate to them or simply enjoy it as an intruiging idea.
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Maybe i am all alone in reality, but knowing i can speak here and share my thoughts and maybe people engaging with them, makes me feel a little better already. It is like my words do reach somewhere.
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I wonder what to do. There are things that are simply not in my hands to change, yet i cannot lay them down. I keep thinking and thinking. But things already happened. I have things i wish to do but i don't enjoy doing them in the silence that has started to take over the air around me. It is thick and makes me unable to breathe properly and yet i try to just live anyway. I wonder when my tendency to selfsabotage, will finally end. It would be nice if anyone would still hold me even while i do, knowing i am still trying and want to do my best in all things.
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I feel happy when people message me in PMs, if it is simply out of curiousity, to exchange thoughts, to become friends or for a relationship. To me it is something wonderful to talk to anyone that wants to talk.
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Another night and a new day has begun before i even closed my eyes. Even when i ask people for help they send me away with nothing. I cannot understand it. Maybe i will try to become like the girl from the fairy tale of falling stars. I will give all of me away to others that might want or need it, i will freeze but it's okay because stars will rain upon me before i vanish.
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I gaze up to the stars while my knees sink in the endless snow, i lost my cape, my boots, my hat, my dress, all that is left is a thin fabric covering my heart. What do i need when my body turns white like the snow around me. I stare up at the sky feeling like the stars come down towards me, but in reality, my eyes lost focus while i slowly fall into the snow, not realising i have passed, but having a warm feeling deep in a lost part of me, somehow i smile.
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A frozen body is all that is left. A wish and a dream hidden below the snowflakes of life.The snowy landscape echoes sounds of cold wind passing through trees. Maybe even if just a little, the pieces that were given away might haven given someone warmth. Maybe they didn't really fit them, maybe the things given weren't even the best and possibly they will throw them away once they return to their families and friends, yet they were part of her, they were what she was, she meant well. All that passed by her in this night, didn't stay, but the interaction will never die in the snow. At least they feel warm now, hopefully they returned home.
