Yandere Community

Since I first fell in love when I was in high school, the relationship quickly became obsessive and overly clingy with me completely losing my mind and being scared that I would be abandoned by the one I truly loved. Which often ended up in exactly what I feared. I haven't been able to form any healthy relationships and they all became toxic and end quickly with me being the most heartbroken and depressed. I heard about yandere through yandere simulator but also through anime and I really somewhat related to the obsessive love aspects of yanderes. I think I probably have BPD or something like that, and I don't want to hurt anyone, just to be loved and thats why I love yanderes too. For me love is something that makes me feel less empty inside.

I don't know whether I class myself as Yandere, but I most definitely have an obsession with love.

Friends and love ones mean the world to me. 

since i was a kid i thought that love meant unconditional love
cheaper forms of love were perverse ideas unfit for humans
when i was in the sixth grade i fell in love with a girl.
my crush on her lasted for 3 years straight despite me barely interacting with her.
at the start of the three years, i had driven her away by sending her "creepy" messages on her email (a confession of love, followed by begging that we should try being together)
after that, i lightly stalked her for the remainder of those three years. (it was all i could do) i had learned my lesson that new messages would only make the relationship worse rather than better.

i only came across the term 'yandere' later, when i started to get into anime.

kurai said: 

When I was 13 I became very obsessed with someone. My parents were always neglectful, and I was bullied heavily in school. He was the first person to show kindness to me, I’d never had a friend before. It felt like I was drowning if he wasn’t around me; I was so clingy, my jealousy and paranoia were uncontrollable. I stalked him for several years even after he justifiably cut contact with me.

This was back in 2010, so Death Note was a very popular manga at the time. I had seen people online describe Misa Amane using the term "yandere." It felt apt, I related very much to her and to similar characters. Admittedly I was an emo weeaboo, but I haven't grown out of that at all. My cringe behavior is forever.

I'm only able to love obsessively; it's just how I am. I am glad to have a word for it, and so many characters that I can relate to. It's comforting.

As I am now I’d only ever pursue someone who feels the same way about me, in that sense I’ve grown at least.

 Hi I'm amadeo 

It started with my first big crush and rejection that really hurt. I've always been used or abused by family, bullies , "friends" and love interests. There was this one girl that showed me kindness and willingness to interact with. This was stopped short after she witnessed me being bullied on the bus while I was talking with her. I just felt ashamed about the whole incident and started staying away from her. A few years later while I seemingly forgot about her, I started to dream about her and soon after obsessed completely. Stalking and collecting every information I could became my routine, I messaged her almost daily. I think she caught me doing it because she made some of her online profiles private. I was always fantasizing about our future together. After some time I mustered up the courage to ask her out but I was rejected because she was interested in someone else. At the time I didn't know of the concept of Yandere, I found out about the similarities with my behaviour with that definition much later. I seldomly think about her but those urges are gone now. There have been other people in my life that made feel like that and they lived in my head rent free for a couple years even after my relationships with them ended.