Honouring My Sweetheart

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10 / 70 posts
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

I found your parking spot in the one photo you had sent me.  It was so dark but I put it together quite some time ago.... but you already know that, don't you?  You do.  There's no way that you wouldn't.  

Is the seafood restaurant right nearby any good?  The food looks good.  The bisque looks delicious and the price is fair.  

Either way.  I miss you Puppy.  

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

To lay out under the stars, speaking of times come and gone would be heavenly.  Would you tell me more about yourself?  Would you wear a mask again?  Would you laugh?  Would you cry?  Would you hold my hand?  Could I hold you?  Will everything be okay?

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

Sometimes I feel like an addict.  Like I'm going through withdrawals.  Yet these withdrawals are of you.  It makes no sense, given I haven't had you in forever.  But does that truly matter when every breath I breathe is for you, even though you're not around for it?  Some days, I shake when I think of you.  I think it's my nervous system becoming overwhelmed by so many feelings at once.  I'm used to being apathetic mostly so even now, it's quite a bit to handle for me.  It's been years..  why am I still like this?  One would think I'd have changed, instead of being so..  pathetic.  Nonetheless, this is my existence.  My reality.  I hope it isn't your reality too.  Simply because of how agonizing it is.  But... part of me wants that acknowledgement from you.  I don't truly know what I'm doing currently, just venting I suppose.  Rambling.  I'm sorry.  

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

I don't feel real.

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

I need a cigarette.

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

I despise having nightmares.

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

You're still taking my breathe away, even now.  I've followed in your footsteps.  I want to be like you, sweet and perfect.  I'll never be as good as you or anywhere near but I can try.  I want to impress you.  I want to make you proud.  I want to shower you with love and affection.  I love you.  Please never forget that you're adored beyond words.  Time is all I have to lay at your feet.  I hope it means something, anything.

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

Eventually my callous way of speaking will be warm and friendly enough.  Or was it something you enjoyed about me?  I don't know.  I'll continue on so I can do both effectively so I can be whatever you want me to be.  Just you wait and see Puppy!  I'll be your ideal Kainey!  

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

I miss you.  

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
Posts: 83
0 votes RE: Vent/Gush/Him

Somedays I sit here thinking about that time we played minecraft together and how I was so flustered I had no idea of what to do.  That was really embarrassing.  I still stew over that years later.  If only we had spoken longer that night, maybe things would've turned out differently.  It was fun regardless though.  

Truly diabolic. • "The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved."
10 / 70 posts
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