Yandere Community

I found your parking spot in the one photo you had sent me.  It was so dark but I put it together quite some time ago.... but you already know that, don't you?  You do.  There's no way that you wouldn't.  

Is the seafood restaurant right nearby any good?  The food looks good.  The bisque looks delicious and the price is fair.  

Either way.  I miss you Puppy.  

To lay out under the stars, speaking of times come and gone would be heavenly.  Would you tell me more about yourself?  Would you wear a mask again?  Would you laugh?  Would you cry?  Would you hold my hand?  Could I hold you?  Will everything be okay?

Sometimes I feel like an addict.  Like I'm going through withdrawals.  Yet these withdrawals are of you.  It makes no sense, given I haven't had you in forever.  But does that truly matter when every breath I breathe is for you, even though you're not around for it?  Some days, I shake when I think of you.  I think it's my nervous system becoming overwhelmed by so many feelings at once.  I'm used to being apathetic mostly so even now, it's quite a bit to handle for me.  It's been years..  why am I still like this?  One would think I'd have changed, instead of being so..  pathetic.  Nonetheless, this is my existence.  My reality.  I hope it isn't your reality too.  Simply because of how agonizing it is.  But... part of me wants that acknowledgement from you.  I don't truly know what I'm doing currently, just venting I suppose.  Rambling.  I'm sorry.  

I don't feel real.

I need a cigarette.

I despise having nightmares.

You're still taking my breathe away, even now.  I've followed in your footsteps.  I want to be like you, sweet and perfect.  I'll never be as good as you or anywhere near but I can try.  I want to impress you.  I want to make you proud.  I want to shower you with love and affection.  I love you.  Please never forget that you're adored beyond words.  Time is all I have to lay at your feet.  I hope it means something, anything.

Eventually my callous way of speaking will be warm and friendly enough.  Or was it something you enjoyed about me?  I don't know.  I'll continue on so I can do both effectively so I can be whatever you want me to be.  Just you wait and see Puppy!  I'll be your ideal Kainey!  

I miss you.  

Somedays I sit here thinking about that time we played minecraft together and how I was so flustered I had no idea of what to do.  That was really embarrassing.  I still stew over that years later.  If only we had spoken longer that night, maybe things would've turned out differently.  It was fun regardless though.