I wish I could have my last breath taken by you and gaze into your sad, sad eyes as you do and see that you're finally happy.
I love you so much it hurts. It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest every day, over and over. You are my worst and only affliction. This is hellish blissful agony. I desire peace but won't obtain it. This is my hell and you are my only salvation.
I love you so very, very much. I've succeeded in becoming lovelier for you. It's still not enough but I'm making progress. My hoodie is warm. I pretend it's you holding me and telling me that you love me.
I wish I had some of your hair to keep in a locket around my throat. Or rather, I'd need a locket for that first even really. No matter. Today is exceedly warm out. Nauseatingly so. I despise how warm it is. It makes it difficult to keep my skin clear. I miss you. I wish that one day I will be enough for you, my Sweet Puppy.
I need you. I wish you knew that. You're the air in my lungs. Without you, I'm asphyxiating. I can't handle this but I must, I will. I just need a crumb, please Puppy please. Hhhh. Help me. Save me. Only you can.
Wishing, praying
All your dreams come true
Are you taking care of yourself, my beloved? Are you ensuring to eat? Are you taking care to hydrate? Are you sleeping soundly? I so love and adore you. You're always on my mind. Stay safe, my heart.
I am forever yours.
Remake me in your ideals so that I may be forever yours,
As fleeting as dreams are,
I pray this'll be one that forever lasts,
As I bop along and transform to your image
I love you my sweet PunPun.
I truly wonder if you do see any of this? I hope so. I hope that the words I write are the wind in your hair and the warm arms that hold you at night. I've attempted to get back into drawing. It seems to pass me by every time I try. I've grown out my nails again since you so enjoyed them longer. Painted as well. I'll need to repaint them soon. As of late, it's been bordering the 90's and it's quite irksome. Makeup doesn't stick well in heat like that. I've finally grown slightly more comfortable in my body and croptops are somewhat pleasant to wear now. I've been reading Seraph of the End. It's enjoyable. I might attempt to read Fire Punch again soon. I read some of Ito's adaption of No Longer Human. About halfway through iirc. It's dark but I enjoy it. I prefer Dead Tube however, I must admit. I still desire to learn piano so that I may speak your language. I hope you are well.